Meghan Markle annoyed the Queen on her wedding day by ignoring specific royal protocol, says royal author

The Queen's alleged concerns about Meghan Markle's wedding choices, as mentioned by royal author Tom Bower in Revenge, reflect her more traditional views on royal weddings. The Queen reportedly questioned why Meghan chose to wear a veil for her second marriage, especially considering that the veil is often associated with first marriages and symbolizes purity and virginity. Additionally, the Queen was allegedly surprised by Meghan’s choice of a white bridal gown, which is typically reserved for brides who have not been married before. This sentiment seemed to be rooted in the Queen's traditionalist stance, as it was in contrast to the more modern approach Meghan had taken with her wedding.

Biographer Tom Bower claimed the Queen questioned the veil in his 2022 book

The late Queen observes Meghan during her wedding to Prince Harry at St George's Chapel, Windsor Castle, on May 19, 2018

Meghan Markle's wedding to Prince Harry in 2018 marked a departure from some royal traditions, particularly in her choice of a wedding veil. While Queen Camilla, a divorcee herself, chose not to wear a veil for her wedding to Prince Charles in 2005, Meghan embraced the full traditional bridal look, including a 16ft veil that was both elaborate and symbolic. The veil featured intricate lacework representing the flora of the 53 Commonwealth countries, making it a bold statement of her modern approach to the royal wedding. This choice, combined with her white gown—another break from tradition for a second marriage—further highlighted Meghan’s desire to create a distinctive and personal celebration for her big day at St George's Chapel in Windsor.

The duchess arrives for her wedding in her 16ft-long veil which was trimmed with lace depicting flora from each of the 53 Commonwealth countries

Meghan Markle's wedding veil, an exquisite 16ft-long piece of silk tulle, became one of the most talked-about elements of her 2018 wedding to Prince Harry. The veil was intricately trimmed with lace depicting the flora from each of the 53 Commonwealth countries, creating a meaningful and symbolic design that paid homage to the Commonwealth. Fashion designer Clare Waight Keller, who worked with Meghan at Givenchy, described the veil as a "delicate floral beauty" that conveyed both timelessness and modernity.

Two page boys were required to help carry the £100,000 dress's long veil into the chapel 

The creation process was meticulous, with 50 people working for over 3,900 hours to produce the gown and veil, taking care to wash their hands regularly to preserve the material's pristine condition. The veil was held in place by Queen Mary's diamond bandeau tiara, a piece made in 1932 that was loaned to Meghan by the late Queen Elizabeth II. The combination of the veil, gown, and tiara made for a breathtaking and symbolic bridal look, balancing tradition with a personal and modern touch.

The duchess steps out of her car in her Givenchy dress made by British fashion designer Clare Waight Keller

Meghan Markle’s decision to wear such an elaborate and eye-catching veil for her second wedding was, indeed, a bold move that seemed to raise concerns among some of the more traditional members of the royal family. Historically, the practice of brides wearing veils dates back to ancient Greek and Roman times, where the veil was used to protect brides from evil spirits that might interfere with their happiness. Over time, the veil became a symbol of modesty, chastity, and purity, particularly in Western bridal traditions.

Meghan Markle and her mother Doria Ragland arriving at Windsor Castle

For Meghan, choosing such a striking veil with symbolic lace representing the Commonwealth was a deeply personal gesture, but it also seemed to challenge these long-held associations of the veil as a symbol of virginity. Given that it was her second marriage, this choice appeared to defy the conventional expectations of royal weddings, where tradition is often emphasized. It highlighted Meghan's modern approach to her wedding day, and perhaps, her desire to create her own path within the royal family, which might have been seen as a departure from more traditional royal norms.

Meghan's veil was held in place by the Queen Mary's diamond bandeau tiara, which was made in 1932 and lent to Meghan by the late Queen

Meghan Markle’s wedding gown, created by Clare Waight Keller of Givenchy, was a reflection of her clear vision for her big day. In an interview recalling the dress, Meghan shared how she had a specific idea in mind for her wedding attire and how working with Clare was a harmonious experience. Meghan appreciated that Waight Keller respected her desires, without trying to push her in a different direction. Meghan’s emphasis on personal vision and modern elegance made her gown a statement piece for the wedding, balancing tradition with a contemporary touch.

When Charles married Camilla  in 2005 in a civil service, she opted to wear off-white and forgo the veil entirely

However, the wedding gown and veil were not without controversy. Beyond the symbolic choice of the veil, there were other aspects of Meghan’s wedding attire that raised eyebrows, particularly among royal observers and critics. These included the unconventional choice of a white bridal gown for a second marriage, which some saw as defying tradition. The attention given to the gown and veil was just one part of the broader discussion surrounding Meghan’s approach to her royal wedding, highlighting the contrast between her modern sensibilities and the more traditional expectations of royal ceremonies.

Meghan waves to the crowds on her wedding day while wearing her veil and Queen Mary's diamond tiara

The late Queen Elizabeth II, known for her discretion, rarely expressed her true opinions about family matters publicly. However, according to Lady Elizabeth Anson, a cousin of the Queen and one of her closest confidantes, the monarch did share her thoughts on Meghan Markle’s wedding gown. In her 2024 book My Mother and I, Lady Elizabeth revealed that the Queen had remarked that Meghan's Givenchy wedding dress was "too white."

In the Queen’s view, a divorcee remarrying in church should not wear a gown that appeared too virginal, which is traditionally associated with first-time brides. This opinion reflected the monarch's more traditional approach to royal customs, especially concerning marriage and wedding attire. Meghan’s choice of a white gown for her second marriage, particularly in a church setting, seemed to be a departure from royal norms, and the Queen's comment highlighted a subtle tension between Meghan's modern sensibilities and the more conservative expectations of the monarchy.

Prince Philip reportedly said it was uncanny how much Meghan (pictured with Prince Harry in 2018) reminded him of the Duchess of Windsor Wallis Simpson (pictured with Edward in 1966) 

Prince Philip, who was known for his candid views, also reportedly expressed concerns about Meghan Markle, comparing her to Wallis Simpson, the American divorcée for whom Edward VIII famously abdicated the throne in 1936. According to royal author Ingrid Seward, Prince Philip was one of the few members of the royal family who remained wary of Meghan and thought it was "uncanny" how much she resembled Wallis Simpson, particularly in terms of her strong personality and ability to charm those around her.

Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson pose for a portrait after their wedding at the Chateau de Cande, in Monts, France, on June 3, 1937. Simpson chose a pale blue dress rather than a white one

Wallis Simpson, who was twice divorced, married Edward VIII in 1937 after his abdication, and her wedding gown was notably different from Meghan's. Rather than following the traditional white dress, Wallis chose a pale blue gown for her wedding, which symbolized a departure from the norms of the time. This comparison between Meghan and Wallis may have contributed to the more cautious stance some royal family members, including Prince Philip, took toward Meghan's entry into the royal fold, particularly given Wallis's controversial role in royal history.

Wallis, centre, is driven to the funeral of her husband, the Duke of Windsor, in 1972

In The New Royals, royal author Katie Nicholl reported that the late Queen Elizabeth II shared her surprise at Meghan Markle's choice to wear a white wedding gown for her second marriage. The Queen, who adhered to more traditional views, was reportedly taken aback by the decision, especially since Meghan had been married once before. As Nicholl wrote, the Queen’s perspective was likely shaped by generational norms, with the monarch believing that divorcees should opt for off-white rather than pure white for a second wedding. This was in line with what Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, had done when she married Prince Charles in 2005, choosing an off-white gown.

The late Queen and Meghan watch a flypast to mark the centenary of the Royal Air Force from the balcony of Buckingham Palace on July 10, 2018

The controversy surrounding Meghan’s wedding gown extended beyond its color and veil. Another point of contention was the decision of who would walk Meghan down the aisle. Traditionally, the father of the bride performs this role, but Meghan’s estranged relationship with her father, Thomas Markle, meant he was not present for the wedding. As a result, Prince Charles stepped in to walk Meghan down the aisle, a gesture that garnered attention, especially given the circumstances surrounding her father’s absence. This decision, along with other unconventional aspects of the wedding, added to the tension and scrutiny surrounding Meghan’s entrance into the royal family.

Meghan and her mother, Doria Ragland, driven along the Long Walk in a Rolls-Royce Phantom IV as they arrive for her wedding ceremony

Instead of the traditional role of the father of the bride, Thomas Markle, walking Meghan Markle down the aisle, Prince Charles stepped in at the last minute to give her away. This decision came after Thomas Markle became embroiled in a scandal, when it was revealed that he had staged paparazzi photos for money ahead of Meghan's wedding. The fallout from this controversy led to Thomas Markle's decision not to attend the wedding.

Harry asked the Queen for special permission to keep his beard for the wedding 

Despite the circumstances, the late Queen Elizabeth reportedly felt regret that Meghan had not reconciled with her estranged father before the paparazzi scandal broke. According to royal insiders, the Queen was concerned about the estrangement between Meghan and Thomas and believed that the situation could have been handled better. The Queen reportedly felt that Meghan should have made efforts to repair her relationship with her father, especially before such a significant event as her wedding to Prince Harry. This concern reflected the Queen’s more traditional values regarding family unity, particularly when it came to major royal milestones.

Meghan added a personal touch to her wedding dress, stitching a piece of blue gingham fabric from the dress she wore on her first date with Harry to the hem

According to Katie Nicholl, the Queen was concerned about the unresolved tensions between Meghan and her father, Thomas Markle, especially given that Harry had not yet met Thomas before the wedding. The Queen, who was generally known for not intervening in personal matters, took the step of speaking to Harry and Meghan directly about the situation. 

Her concern was that Meghan should reconcile with her father, and that Harry should have met Thomas prior to the wedding. A family friend of the Queen said that she felt the situation could have been handled better, expressing regret over how things unfolded. Despite these concerns, Meghan's relationship with her father remained strained, especially after the paparazzi scandal surrounding Thomas. It appears they have not reconciled.

Meghan and her father Thomas were already estranged at the time of her wedding to Harry

In addition to Meghan's choices, Prince Harry also sought to break with tradition when preparing for his wedding. He asked the Queen for special permission to keep his beard for the ceremony. British royal protocol typically required members of the royal family in military uniform to be clean-shaven, but Harry, who had grown attached to his beard, was keen to retain it. He reportedly went to the Queen for her approval, explaining that the beard helped alleviate his anxiety, and was granted permission. This gesture reflected Harry's desire to maintain his personal identity on such an important day, as well as his close relationship with his grandmother, the Queen.

In his memoir Spare, Prince Harry revealed how much his beard had become a source of comfort for him, helping to manage his anxiety. With long-standing British Army protocol forbidding beards for military uniform, Harry knew that his beard would have to go if he were to marry in his dress uniform. Faced with the dilemma, he took a rather personal step and went to his grandmother, the Queen, to request special permission to keep it. In his book, Harry described the moment as one of desperation, explaining how much he valued his beard as a tool for coping with anxiety, and how he felt attached to it.

In the end, the Queen granted Harry the exception, allowing him to marry in his military uniform with his beard intact. This decision was not only a reflection of the Queen's personal affection for Harry but also a nod to the prince's desire to maintain his individuality and comfort on such a momentous occasion. Harry's recounting of this request emphasizes how he was attempting to balance royal expectations with his own mental health needs.

In Spare, Harry humorously recounted his conversation with Prince William about the Queen granting him permission to keep his beard for the wedding. Harry explained how he expressed several reasons for wanting to keep the beard, including its role in his therapy and meditation, as well as his desire not to appear as a "total stranger" to Meghan at the altar. Ultimately, the Queen gave in, likely understanding the emotional importance the beard held for Harry.

Harry's conversation with William about the matter revealed the contrasting dynamics between the two brothers. William, who had been clean-shaven for his own wedding, remarked that Harry had put the Queen in an uncomfortable position, implying that the Queen had little choice but to agree to Harry's request. In his reply, Harry humorously defended his position, saying, "She's the Queen! If she didn't want me to have a beard, I think she can speak for herself." This exchange highlights the tension between tradition and personal desires within the royal family, as well as the banter and camaraderie between Harry and William.

The tiara fitting experience became one of the most controversial moments leading up to Harry and Meghan's wedding. As Harry recounted in Spare, the couple was invited to try on the Queen's tiaras in an intimate setting. Meghan, excited to select the perfect tiara for her big day, was granted access to the royal collection and worked with the Queen’s dresser, Angela Kelly, and a royal jewellery expert.

The late Queen's closest adviser and dresser Angela Kelly seemed to have been annoyed with how she was treated by Meghan during the tiara fitting

However, things reportedly took a negative turn when Meghan tried to arrange another fitting with Kelly. It appears that there was tension between Meghan and Kelly, who was said to have been displeased with how Meghan and Harry were handling the process. Meghan was particularly insistent on wearing a specific tiara, but Kelly allegedly was not willing to accommodate the request. This disagreement, along with Meghan’s reported frustration over the situation, led to further tensions with royal staff.

The Queen (pictured two days before her death on September 8, 2022) was reportedly saddened at Harry and Meghan's choice to leave the Royal Family, allegedly confiding to a close friend that she was exhausted by the turmoil of it all

According to Eden and other sources, the incident contributed to Meghan's sense of isolation within the royal family and was later framed as one of the early signs of the couple's strained relationship with certain royal staff. The tension surrounding the tiara fitting seemed to crystallize the differences between Meghan’s more modern, independent approach and the royal family’s traditional, hierarchical structure.